


The Rules of Edwin Jarvis

by Melethril



Series: The Phoenix and the Eagle [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Author is an official member of the Tony Stark Defense Squad, Author is bitter but regrets nothing, Civil War Team Iron Man, Edwin Jarvis was a father figure for Tony, Gen, Not particularly Steve friendly, Not particularly Team Cap friendly, Rhodey is the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melethril/pseuds/Melethril
Summary: Colonel James Rhodes knew Tony Stark best. To be honest, there were not many people who knew or had known Tony Stark in the first place, so there was little competition. Many knew of him, most assumed things regarding him, but few actually knew the man. Nevertheless, there were Pepper and Happy, but Rhodey was the only soul still alive who knew just how much of an impact Edwin Jarvis had left on his friend.After all, the rules set by Edwin Jarvis were Law.





	The Rules of Edwin Jarvis

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is pretty much part of the "I love the Tony / Rhodey friendship with all my heart" series and plays somewhere in between Rhodey waking up in the hospital and the Rogue Avengers returning.  
> This was inspired by that one sentence from Tony in Civil War (you'll know which one), which - I thought - said much about Tony but also how the Avengers were behaving. Of course, what I wrote here is an exaggeration. But then, I am still a bit bitter about Civil War.  
> The tags are clear, so if you think that Tony is the only flawed individual of the Avengers, don't read.

Colonel James Rhodes knew Tony Stark best. To be honest, there were not many people who knew or had known Tony Stark in the first place, so there was little competition. Many knew _of_ him, most assumed things regarding him, but few actually knew the man.

There was Pepper, of course, who had known Tony for more than a decade. Granted, she knew Tony very well; she had spent a lot of time with the engineer (often more than James due to his military career) and James dearly appreciated her friendship, but his loyalty would forever be with that snotty little yet unbelievingly generous and caring kid he had met thirty years ago. Especially after Tony and Pepper had started dating, the CEO of Stark Industries never stopped in her attempts to change their mutual friend into a ‘better person’ and that… was not okay.

There was Happy Hogan, who knew more about Tony than most, working for Tony even longer than Pepper. He had seen the genius’ best and worst moments and never wavered in his loyalty. Yet, between Happy and Tony, regardless of how deeply they cared for each other, would always loom the imbalance of ‘employer’ and ’employee’.

There had been Maria Stark whose death had left behind a wound that never truly healed (now even less than ever).

Howard Stark had never truly known Tony. He could have, but he had never been interested, which infuriated James: Stark Senior had held Tony’s heart and admiration unlike any other. All the man would have had to do during the SI heir’s childhood and teens was to say a single word of kindness and Tony would have never looked to anyone else for approval or opinion (not even his own mother whom he had adored), but James had never witnessed anything but scorn and disappointment from Howard Stark.

Instead, Tony had turned to Edwin Jarvis and Obediah Stane ( _‘Don’t think about him, Rhodes! Don’t think about that bastard. He doesn’t deserve it.’_ ) as role models, and they could not have been more different. Edwin Jarvis had been everything Obediah and Howard were not, and Tony had loved him dearly. Jarvis’ death shortly before Tony’s twenty-first birthday had been devastating. James still remembered the broken, shivering body in their shared apartment at MIT; still remembered how Tony had gone completely off the rails in order to drink away the pain of having lost yet another person he had loved; still remembered how Tony had later hooked onto Obediah as his personal lifeline (and the son of a bitch had fully exploited the vulnerable young man, to which Rhodey had been as blind as Tony).

Nevertheless, despite that pain, rules employed by Edwin Jarvis were the Law.

Tony’s etiquette – if he actually bothered to follow it – was excellent. James had often marveled how Tony could be his typical self one minute and an almost tediously correct Englishman the next (with the perfect accent to match) if only for fun. He rubbed shoulders with the highest of American society and could charm anyone he wished, but that was all for show and because he was expected to. There were only few people he actually respected and those he treated with his full attention rather than fake manners. However, when it came to his conduct in a private setting? There were rules, and they were altogether Jarvis’ rules.

Few people knew that Tony was able to make the perfect cup of tea, or coffee, and that, unless inspiration struck and he was holed up in the workshop, he often spent a few quiet minutes at four o’clock with a cup of tea, and was perfectly happy to serve you if he was given the opportunity.

Tony also washed his own dishes… Of course, now there was a fully automated dishwasher improved and approved by Tony Stark, but there was no domestic staff taking care of that.

_Clean up after yourself._

 

It was one of Jarvis’ first rules right after:

_Never presume that you are entitled to your situation. You have been gifted with great opportunities and a greater mind – use them responsibly._

_A lot of people will one day depend on you. Know their pains, wishes and dreams better than your own. Do everything to help them succeed._

And:

 _It is not my place to say so, but treat every person you meet equally no matter his or her station_ (which had apparently been followed by an hour-long philosophical discussion on status and places; that Jarvis contradicted himself with this statement; that it was Jarvis’ place to raise Tony, and that he should never utter the first part of this rule ever again; and which had ended with an eight-year-old hugging Jarvis and telling him that he loved him).

 

 _Clean up after yourself_.

People who knew Tony personally, but were not close enough to ever see past the masks, thought that it must have been horrible to have Tony Stark as his roommate during college, but reality turned out to be quite the opposite. Tony could clean the apartment meticulously (better even than James), prepare food without causing food poisoning (most of the times), could remove the most deep-seated stains from clothing ( _blood_ , _motor oil and… don’t ask!)_ without damaging the fabric and was able to iron their shirts to absolute perfection (not many people in the military could claim that Tony freaking Stark had ironed your uniform). Tony had also been the one to teach James how to properly tie a tie.

_Clean up after yourself_.

Tony took this one seriously. In fact, there was a story behind that one. One drunken night after Jarvis’ death, the only remaining Stark had told James that particular story with tears in his eyes.

 

_“Master Anthony, your room currently resembles a warzone. Please clean up after yourself,” Jarvis said to the seven-year-old._

_“Anne can do it,” said little Tony, mind focused on the robot in front of him._

_“Anne has other responsibilities, Master Anthony,” replied Jarvis sternly. “It is not her job to do your tasks. It is important that you keep your room tidy.”_

_Annoyed that Jarvis continued to interrupt him at this pivotal moment of his future as an engineer, Tony commented snippily, “Actually, I am pretty sure that cleaning is what domestic staff does. It’s literally part of the job description. It’s all you do anyway, cleaning and tidying, so Anne can clean my room. I have more important things to do.”_

_Even at a young age, Tony’s verbal assaults hit their mark. Jarvis’ straightened up, his face carefully blank, looking like the proper Englishman he was._

_“You must excuse me then, Master Anthony, I have_ tasks _to perform.” He turned and left the room, leaving the slightly dumbstruck boy alone. He knew Jarvis was angry (it made him feel queasy; he did not want Jarvis to be angry with him), but he was almost done with the robot; then he would apologize._

_Little Tony quickly realized that it was not so simple. Jarvis was busy and often excused himself, which in itself happened quite a bit, especially if there were guests in the house and Tony was used to keep himself occupied, but for Jarvis not to come by his room to wish him goodnight? That was unusual and Tony whimpered himself to sleep. He woke up at two in the morning and started cleaning his room as quietly as possible. He also finished his robot and wrapped it. As soon as he heard Jarvis go about, the boy all but ran downstairs with tears in his eyes and sobbed, “I am sorry, Jarvis, so sorry. I cleaned my room. You can go check! I even dusted and I will vacuum it as soon as I am allowed. Please don’t be mad, Jarvis. Here’s the robot I made. Are you still mad?”_

_Jarvis looked dumbstruck, “I thought this robot was meant for your father, Master Anthony.”_

_“He’s not going to like it anyway; he will tell me that the control panel is too big and that the movements are not smooth enough, but he refuses to give me the tools to make it right! He said I had to make them myself,” he grumbled before he looked at the older man pleadingly, “Jarvis, are you still mad?”_

_Jarvis swiftly hugged the boy, “No, Master Anthony, I am not. I was never angry.” Tony’s ‘but’ was muted by Jarvis’ “I was hurt, and wished to let you know that but I did not think my words were received. I erroneously believed my advice was not appreciated and decided to distance myself. This was petty on my part and I apologize.”_

_Tony hugged him back fiercely, “I’ll clean up after myself, Jarvis, promise. Anne will never need to take care of my messes. She has enough things to worry about.”_

_Jarvis smiled approvingly at the sweet, lonely child in front of him._

_“Would you like to help me prepare some scones?”_

_“Yes!”_

 

 _Clean up after yourself_.

Tony hated it when houseguests did not; he had ditched more than one person who had felt entitled to the luxury. Tony was one of the most generous people James knew, and he would never demand back a gift he had given, but if he did not approve of the receiver’s conduct, they would never see more than Tony Stark Genius/Billionaire/Playboy/Philanthropist. In fact, people did not realize they were first tested on their way to Tony’s place; depending on how you treated his staff was how you were treated in return. If you ignored Happy, do not be surprised if you wake up alone the next day. He would always give the person a good time, but never more if you lacked conduct.

 

 _Clean up after yourself_.

When the Avengers had taken residence at the compound after the Ultron debacle, Tony had taken great pains not to lay down any laws.

_‘They are my teammates, Rhodey. I’m not their host. I don’t want them to feel obligated.’_

However, the others did not let him forget it. Steve all but demanded that some official rules were implemented. Tony had merely asked them to clean up after themselves. There was quite a number of people working at the huge compound, and despite help from robots built by Tony, more than thirty people had more than enough to do to just to keep the compound at a good level of tidiness. In fact, he had needed to employ new staff because the compound was further away from the city and therefore not particularly attractive for the majority of his employees. He had only hired people willing to stay permanently at the compound. There was a private kitchen/common room for the Avengers and a cafeteria for everyone, including the Avengers. However, the team had not gone there often. Steve had said that he was bothered by the attention their presence received ( _‘We are not celebrities, Tony. We are just people.’ – ‘Sure, a super-soldier slash THE American war hero, a super-spy, an android, two elite airmen with mechanical wings and flying suits, Wanda, an enhanced human powered by the Tesseract, and myself. Totally normal. Look, just go there every day for lunch and dinner, and they won’t care after a week or two.’_ ).

First, Tony had organized for the cafeteria food to be brought up when the Avengers asked for it. Later, because the training schedule could not be adapted to regular cafeteria hours regarding lunch and dinner, Tony had employed cooks to prepare whatever whenever. Then, Vision had started to cook, and in addition to delivering food to experiment on, Tony still needed people on call to prepare food if Vision’s attempts failed, which in turn had led to complaints from the others that they could never eat out or just get take-out because it would be rude to turn down the in-house cooked meal (not to mention the lack of variety that came with eating cafeteria/compound food all day, even on the weekends). These cooks were now preparing food for Tony’s engineering department in York whose engineers kept even more insane hours but were generally just glad if food magically appeared in the break room.

Then, Steve had requested for the domestic staff not to enter their rooms and the Avengers kitchen/Common Room because it felt like an invasion of privacy, which, okay, but at that point – Tony tiredly explained to James one evening when the latter had visited him in the workshop of former Avengers-now-back-to-Stark tower – he was faced with the problem of having domestic staff banned from their original domain but who he could not just put into the compound roster because first, they were both overqualified for certain maintenance tasks (as in general cleaning of the facility) and not trained for the rest (technical support). He could not take them into the tower because Roberta would think her team did not do a sufficient job, which was not the case. Domestic staff was trained to take care of families not offices, so he could not just bring them to the New York office branch of Stark Industries. Ultimately, he had shifted them to one of the smaller housing opportunities of his R&D department, which had turned out to be a brilliant idea. Julian’s team consisted of seven men and women ranging from their early twenties to late fifties, altogether highly trained, professional with serious mother hen tendencies. To bring such people in contact with a house that harbored fifteen graduate-level scientists was a match made in heaven (and somehow increased the number of student applications from three to four thousand per open position). In fact, Tony had apparently been forced to hire a replacement for Thomas about two months into this experiment (and one year later, he would receive an invitation to the wedding of Thomas and Francesco, a former graduate who remained at Stark industries in a postdoctoral position). Altogether, this whole staffing thing for the Avengers compound was a nightmare, and Tony took care of it himself because he carefully vetted every person stepping into that building. Ultimately, he had to hire some domestic staff that received a regular salary but were basically on call whenever needed. Then, he had to make changes for the staff _(“Es la bruja, Señor Stark. Le tengo miedo, verá. Su magia escarlata…”_ ) leading to a never-ending story.

Ultimately, once Vision, Rhodey and Tony were back at the compound after everything (and while construction workers were still fixing the hole created by Wanda), Rhodey thoughtfully inspected the kitchen sink. He had almost forgotten Tony’s remark right before everything had gone straight to hell.

 _“Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”_ as Tony unconsciously emulated Edwin Jarvis’ disapproving tone, while still remaining Tony.

 

“The staff said something?” asked Rhodey, correctly assuming that Tony had a) read his inner musings like a book and b) followed his train of thought as if that had been the conversation they had held all along.

“No,” said Tony, frowning a bit. He looked torn and a bit broken (and Rhodey knew that no matter what came next, he would never forgive the other Avengers for putting that expression there). “I just… wanted them to clean up after themselves.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it...


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